The Last Post

Hi Folks.

Just dropped in to say that "Dogma" has been sold, and our aquatic adventures, have finally drawn to a conclusion.

I still absolutely love boating, the boat, the way of life and have never felt so free. The captain of my own vessel and the master of my own destiny. Wehey!! dreams can come true. But, the parasites who jump out of the bushes and demand 12 English pounds from you whenever you want to stop anywhere have sucked 9/10ths of the enjoyment out of it.

Rampant greed has increased it's weaseling for a few years now. 5..8..10..12 pounds.. for a field with no services. Add in the covid fiasco, and the situation will (no doubt) degenerate even further. When was the last time the river was dredged? 10 years... 20 years ? But the license fee never goes down, does it? Can't move for 8 months, because of the red boards and annual flooding? Tough. You must pay full price. "not their problem". There are no hoses on the waterpoints anymore. The pumpout machines are invariably "broken", when you need to use them. Lock houses sold off. Lock keepers made redundant, or stretched between three locks. It's all quite sad, really.

The places we used to stop, and enjoy for a night... Dorney lake, Wallingford meadows, Lady Lindsey's lawn... will be jammed with selfish pricks who choose to never move their boats at all. They'll dump all their sewage in the river, whilst simultaneously virtue signalling their 'green' credentials. pfft..

It was all Great Great fun.... for a while. And then it wasn't.
A good friend of ours, Kaye, said...

"It is time to move on, before it gets bitter."

In closing, we met some beautiful souls on our travels.... it was a great privilege to be able to live on, and navigate the heart of darkness. We have many precious memories that will last us a lifetime. So, thankyou to everybody, who ever wrote, smiled, waved, or just said "hello" on the towpath. Appreciated that. We leave the river Thames, knowing there are still a few decent human beings out there. And that makes us happy. Cheers....

Dogma is now home for a nice couple, with a young child and a dog. She'll be staying on the River Thames, for the most part. If you see her out and about, give her a honk and a wave. She's a good old girl... who did us proud. We'll never forget her.

Summertime

Bryn and Olly have been enjoying their daily dunks in the river Lymm. I have missed not being on the boat this summer. But I remember how scorching it was last year. It hasn't rained for 6 weeks now.

An interesting historical fact

On this very day, 369 years ago..

 

 

England was declared a Republic.

Sail Ho!

back in the old days, i harboured an ambition to become a multiplayer developer and game sysop. i was pretty good at it actually. my home server was always stuffed. but you know, these things take fat wallets and a room full of people to do properly. so i kept it at the "purely for personal amusement" level.

a couple of years back, i stupidly opened my 3D modelling tools again. i was interested in the advances made in cloth physics and character modelling. then it was "it would be great to see these things bobbing about on a convincing ocean".

next thing you know, i am reading up on how to implement euler angles, archimedes (his laws of buoyancy), atmospheric scattering, changable windspeed and direction, procedural generation of island biomes and strato-cumulaic cloud densities. so... i can now calculate trajectories, vectors and velocities in 3D space. and transpose that into 2D coordinates, should the need ever arise. (stumbled with quaternion maths 12 years ago).

it's been fun learning to wear all the different hats necessary to design a naval game from start to finish, but my chances of releasing this as a commercial venture are a roundabout zero. no worries. the thing i'm the most proud of..... is that it runs fine on my cheapass chinese laptop.

Well, here we are..

2018.
I hope it goes well for everyone.

Bryn is 8.
Fit and happy.
Such a lovely chap.
He makes us laugh every day.

I spent far longer than was anticipated down in Devon. Had a great time with Sheena and the lads. A nice bit of pack bonding, with some lovely woodland walks along country lanes and bridle paths. But there is a backlog of boats waiting to be craned out and use this particular spot, so I've had to come back and get a shift on..

On the refit front, things are going well. the new engine fits in the hole, like it was made for it (which it probably was). The supports for the old engine have been cut away. Nice sparks! And bar a bit of jiggling, swearing, shimming and knuckle scraping, we are almost there.

We're also replacing the deckboards, because the old ones had become squishy, waterlogged and blown. The original plating underneath was in remarkably good condition. Quick grind with a wire brush. a splash of Vactan (the river gods brought the sun out for 2 hours.... 10 degrees... perfect!). good to go, for another few years.

Busy. Busy.

The chaps

I haven't seen them in nearly a month.
They are going to go ballistic.

Scandinavian Shininess

hellig hestekræfter.

Survey says..

No overplating necessary.
Anodes doing their job.
Good for another 10 years.
Wehey!

Sides newly blacked. Midships anodes fitted. Baseplate ground down to metal, primed and painted with black epoxy. 10 days. in December. ha!

Goodbye old friend. You took us to many new and exciting places. For the most part, you were ultra reliable. We knew you'd had a hard life prior to helping us, but it was fun getting to know how you worked. And I'll never forget the moments me, you and the spanners spent together. Thankyou for all of the precious memories.

the worst part. 14 inch clearance. could not turn over. no wish to ever see the baseplate again. the huge rusty dust clouds were a novelty, at first. but, eventually, painting over your head really stresses your elbow tendons. on the plus side, i do now have biceps like popeye.

The lads, having a nice snuggle. Bryn is used to house living, and immediately claimed his spot on the couch. Olly also seems to have taken to it remarkably well.

oh yeah, and it snowed too.. which was fun..

Water Pump

We've had to push the poor little beast quite hard this year.

The bearing on the coolant pump is shot and has become wobbly. Water/Rust/Antifreeze is dribbling out and being centrifugally spun around inside the engine bay by the fanbelt. Which is also squealing like a sonofabitch. Not an entirely fabulous situation.

Spares are on order, and morale is still good.

Eynsham and Back

Olly @ Godstow

Took ourselves up to Eynsham meadows to avoid the bank holiday madness. Had a lovely few days just pootling about. Back in Wallingford to meet an old friend of ours, and then heading downstream again. Things are noticably quieter on the river, now that the schools have gone back. Which makes for some very relaxing days.

Ouch

Sheena is back with us. Yay!

Abingdon was very nice. We've enjoyed our 5 days of the town's generous hospitality and will be departing tomorrow. I also found the "swarm of angry bees" that the council was looking for. Turns out, they were hornets. I know this because I had one attached to the top of my Skull. It was Bryn's fault for winding them up. We then had to go the long way around (5 miles via culham) to get back home.

Sheena: let me look
Me: no, you will poke it with your finger.
Sheena: I won't.
Me: oh, alright then.
Sheena: (pokes it with finger). Is that it?

I get the feeling..

..that the mooring situation isn't going to end well, at the Wallingford fishing holes.

Yesterday, I heard a jolly boat say "that far king dogma is still there". Which I found quite amusing. People don't realise how far their voice carries over their engine noise. But, i have also overheard these grumblings from non boating towpath walkers :-

"It's like a new age village down there".
"They've taken over the whole bank with their junk".
"I may buy a boat and just dump it here too".

People are clearly not happy.

In addition to this, the riverbank has collapsed at half a dozen places, under the weight of willow roots pressing down on it. There are now submerged stakes hiding a few inches under the water, pointing out at 45 degrees.

The lads have had a great time here. Long walks and plenty of ball chucks. The cooler weather has been perfect for them. But I will also be glad to shove off tomorrow. Not a very happy vibe here at the moment. Though the chance to unwind after three days of rope tugging, boat heaving and rudder juddering has been most welcome.

Tune of the day...

Wallingford

Me @ Spade Oak

Fast becoming like Reading. Full of gits who do not move their boats. They've deliberately clustered themselves close to town too, making it a long old trudge to the shops for folk who just want to top up on supplies, and actually, you know.... cruise. 6 hour journey and nowhere to moor? Great. Thanks guys.

I was fortunate today, in that I got the very last space in town, way up in the fishing holes. A narrowboat that had burnt me off on the way had "moored like a twat" right in the middle of the town wall. LOL. Awfully considerate that. Cheers.

So now I'm behind a dutch barge that runs it's generator all day. I'm considering stopping a couple of nights, because the castle grounds are great for the lads to run around in. Also, the words "fat" and "chance" spring to mind, when contemplating finding somewhere to moor in Abingdon for the weekend. Ha, I love summer. So relaxing.

The journey itself was fine. Dogma behaved beautifully and it was a joy to push her up the river. Big reward of the day was being able to watch Kingfishers diving for their lunch.

Tune of the Day..

** Cheers for the pic, Sue. You caught me looking happy. LOL.

Sonning to Beale Park

Took just over 4 hours. Which translated to 3 classic punk albums and a bit of locking. Nothing popped, rattled or fell off. And I didn't have to change the fan belt. Did not make a tit of myself bouncing off any lock walls, and did not fall in. All in all, an excellent journey.

Reading was dissapointing. Still absolutely nowhere to moor there (even if I had the 100 english pounds necessary). Sad to report, the same old scrotes (who have been buggering things up for other boaters for years).... are still there. there are a ton of yoghurt pots with sheds on them taking up all the little gaps now too. Cheers guys. Thanks very much.

Pangborne meadow was stuffed with happy picnic people. Beale park was busy too, but not where we normally moor up. I guess people panic, and tend to cluster around the entrance more. The lads can run round and enjoy a nice jump in the river later, though it is too hot to take them out at the moment.

Festival season is also upon us. Sheena and I had a laugh at the "inflatable yurts and gypsy caravans" I saw in Henley. LOL. that will be 140 english pounds please (and a tenner for your tofu burger).

Tune of the Day...

The whiff of Fanbelt and Diesel

seven hours today. set off at 10am from Temple lock (fortified with "Oats so simple", instead of normal and preferred triple espresso). stopped in Henley briefly so that the engine could cool down a little and Olly could have some ball chucks. a couple of places on the Sonning reach called out with the Siren song, but I continued with my resolve to get through Sonning lock before calling it a day. Guess what? That was stuffed, too. I am tucked up in bushes, wrong way round, with the plank deployed. Some kind of lunacy seems to have infected people, because there were joggers everywhere.

I am hoping to get to Beale park tomorrow, where we can all have a much deserved chill out and run around like idiots.

had a very weird conversation with the owner of Nb "la Luna", who claimed that he knew the boat. and that it was moored on the river Lee. that is the third time I've heard this now. first time, three years ago. but now, twice this month. the first people said the lettering was exactly the same. the bloke (wb 'sixpence') who introduced himself at the Bounty pub, said he'd met me at Milton Keynes. also, the boatpeople in Reading think i'm a paramedic called John, for some reason. it is all very odd.

It's been a while

Diogenes the Cynic

I feel like I should say something. It's rude to just bugger off, without offering up any kind of explanation or satisfactory ending to the story. Happy or otherwise. For anyone still interested, things are fine. We got walloped with a whole lot of death. A big chunk of love torn out of our lives. So, we've had that to deal with. Which, I have come to understand, isn't unusual for people of our age.

Our boat still floats. And that massive 23hp Bukh engine is still pushing us along nicely. This year, our insurers are requesting that we have her out for a hull survey. I suspect some minor plating will be necessary, but we are not currently in any danger of breaching our hull. When she's out of the water, I'll probably have to redo a lot of the jobs that this blog started out with. But this time, as least I will know what I'm doing.

Today, I had a nice lunch with Sue and Vic at Spade Oak, then saw Andy and Sue at Marlow lock. I thought...."I used to enjoy writing the boat blog. Happy Days."... so here I am...

Cruising singlehanded upriver, in the height of summer, with two labradors. Wehey! Sheena will hopefully be re-joining us at Abingdon.

The mission is to get up to Oxford cruisers for a boat safety examination, without blowing the head gasket on the 6-8 hour non stop stretches that are now necessary. Seeing no boats at all on the Tesco moorings at Reading is going to be a shock. Even though I'm prepared for it.

Darkblue Narrowboat

I'm sorry we didn't let you moor up next to us. 

We have been kind and allowed it in the past, only for the mickey to be severely taken. Enough for us to vow "never ever again".

If, as you said, you'd travelled up all the way from Staines, you would have passed Windsor, Dorney lake, Maidenhead, Cliveden and Cookham. I appreciate that it is high summer, and many places are jam packed, but i severely doubt there wasn't at least one mooring spot for you anywhere on the whole of your journey.

Summer Protip: if you see a mooring, stop at it!

Please don't think too harshly of us. And I hope you found a spot, eventually.

Family Tree

Sheena says she does not want to hear about my "working class roots" ever again. I did try to counter this, with the 300 years of cockney geezers I'd discovered. But the 2000+ years of my ancestors living in castles did the argument no favours at all.

 

 24th Great Grandfather King John.

Sorry.

** We're all fine. Still floating. news update soon.

Hey Hey..

Not the Monkees

We made it back safely. There were a couple of brown trouser and "barely moving" moments. Particularly around Cookham lock, where the two weir streams meet. But no loss of control. If something had gone wrong, it would have been very wrong indeed, because there is a large amount of water flowing through the cliveden reach at the moment.

The islands are nearly submerged, and it's also very choppy, with a high swell. Heard the exhaust complaining a couple of times when it got swamped, but once we hit the Bourne End reach, it was relatively plain sailing. Even Cookham bridge let us through without argument. Used a single rope for the towing. Our bow to the tug's stern dolly. Gave us a slimmer profile, than being breasted up. Worked, thankfully. Mr Bukh didn't let us down either. Worked flat out all the way, without anything popping, falling off, or belching out black smoke.

Should also mention that the hirefleets are still sending boats out. Saw 'Caversham' and 'Le Boats'. I know they have big seaworthy engines. but jeez...  I wouldn't risk it. it's madness out there..

Easter Weekend

 

 

 This is a post I wish I didn't have to write.

 

on Good Friday, the marina was extra busy with gongoozlers. Not wishing for an Easter bank holiday full of people strolling past the boat, kicking gravel onto the paintwork, and generally setting Olly off; I decamped to Cliveden. It was a beautiful sunny day. The river warnings were yellow (Stream Decreasing). I had a weeks worth of food onboard. Thought I would be fine. Journey down... No Problem..

 

Then it started raining. A lot. And it got a bit windy. Cue 'Red Boards' (No navigation) on the whole river. Stuck! I'm tied up safely enough. Nice mooring. But the stream is so fierce that nobody is going anywhere for the forseeable. And it's too rough and speedy for the marina tug to come and tow me back. Nature has well and truly rustled my jimmies.

But, that's not all... no... this morning my uncle Danny phoned me up. I knew immediately why he had called. My mother had died.

 

Mum had kept the full extent of her illness from me. Shielding and protecting me from as much pain and sorrow, as she could. And always had done. It was an infection that finally took her away. Far, far, too soon.

 

 

Today, I have had a long dog walk. The lads love it down here, and don't seem too bothered about our predicament. Stoking up the fire right now. It's raining again. But, I'm grateful that there are two bags of coal on the roof. I'm sitting, pondering some of my earliest memories. Of Portsmouth, Fratton, Portchester, Fareham and Hampshire. Mum would not want me to get upset at her death. Her last weekend was spent laughing and joking with the nurses. She wanted me to be happy.

So, here I am. Grateful that Sheena is down in devon, with a bath and comfy bed, not having to go through this. Grateful that the lads are here, with their daily needs and requirements. Grateful to be alive, myself. Though, not the happiest of days..

 

My Mum loved this particular version, of this particular song.. So I will share it in her memory.

  

Stand by Me