Citizens..

Stick your limp baguettes where the sun doesn't shine!

I burst out laughing, two years back, when my friends told me they got thinly sliced turkey on their takeaway pizza. They'd expressly ordered pork product, but ended up with something quite fowl.

Today, it seems that some people really do believe that poultry when sliced, magically transforms itself into "ham".

I find the perversion of language, and the weasel words necessary to arrive at that conclusion, doubleplusungood.